My last post on this blog was November 2011. That was almost 3 years ago! So.Much.Has.Changed.
I was in my 4th year of university struggling to find my purpose and my path. To say I was stressed out is an understatement. It was if a deep, dark cloud thundered over me, pressing down on me, making it hard to find joy. Making it hard to breathe. My life changed dramatically when I went to CCO’s winter conference Rise Up in Vancouver that winter. For the first time I abandoned myself to Jesus, telling him that finally he could have all of me. He could have my heart, my relationships, and yes, even my career. I would give it all to him, just as long as he did it all. I did what I thought was unthinkable – I gave up all control. I was that desperate. What he worked in my life was nothing short of a miracle.
His Spirit invaded me. That winter semester, He opened my heart and my eyes to the beauty of his friendship and mercy, and allowed me to have a beautiful part in others’ salvation history. I was convinced that my purpose and my path would be to help Him plant those beautiful, life-giving seeds. A beautiful surrender.
“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”
From then, I worked as His missionary at Carleton University. Helping university students discover Him. Why He picked me, I have no idea. He seems to have a thing for under-qualified and rough-around-the-edges types to do His work. I’m not complaining. I needed to be a missionary – to save myself.
Not returning to campus this fall is a hard thing to think about. I know I am entering a new mission – one that will involve a cute little human (hopefully many!) – but my heart will always be with those who are facing the battlefield of being a 20-something, trying to figure everything out.